Yesterday brought the news that Amy Winehouse had decided to take a stroll to the hospital.

It wasn’t because she finally realised she was slowly destroying her insides, it was simply down to having a crazy reaction to the medication slowly digesting in her stomach.

Kerry Katona thinks she’s a burger, Amy Winehouse fagging it up in Frankie Howerd’s house and Jennifer Garner is probably preggers.

Yeah, so the split rumours are probably not true – although pregnancy hormones do make us ladies very, very crotchety – and instead Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck are having a baby. Possibly.

Amy Winehouse used to be a healthy, fit woman, whose only ghastly features were the tattoos that made her look like some sort of burly transvestite sailor.

However, heavy drinking and smoking have alarmingly taken their toll over the last year, making her thinner, sicker and a bit more violent.

Oh, and there’s the drugs. You can’t forget about the drugs. Anyway, all of this combined might be about to kill her, her dad Mitch says. Who’d have guessed?

You have to hand it to Amy Winehouse – she certainly isn’t a quitter.

There was us worrying about whether we would ever be able to complete our Amy Winehouse Disease Bingo card and the she manages to pull ‘skin cancer’ out the bag.

OK, we are not crossing it off yet, but by the sounds of it, it will only be a matter of time until she’s be able to shout “house, splutter, splutter” at the top of the gunk-filled, peanut-sized husks she once called her lungs.

Amy Winehouse really does have a death wish.

Not satisfied with hovering up enough drugs to keep the Colombian black economy in business, the Back in Black singer today defied doctors’ advice by lighting up a cigarette – just a few hours after been told she could have the early signs of emphysema.

Ah, what do doctor know anyway? The troubled star was told by worried staff at a London hospital that she had to cut the crack and fags immediately or her health would decline even further.

Our favourite celebrity dad, no-nonsense cabby Mitch Winehouse, has revealed that his girl has emphysema and could be dead in three months.

If she doesn’t put down the crackpipe, she could find herself in a wheelchair within a month.

Amy Winehouse fainted yesterday. Experts theorize it’s because her body could temporarily no longer sustain consciousness.

We’re not doctors or anything, but that sounds about right to us.

She was rushed to the hospital either by people that care for her, or by people whose day care, food and houses are all paid for by her career.