Beating the boozing trap

Our favourite hypnotherapist, David Allen, has put together a guide on beating the dependency trap.

And no, it doesn’t just apply to booze. If you over-eat, over-stress, chew your nails or do anything else TOO MUCH you need to read this.

First things first… alcohol works?

It is important to acknowledge that there are reasons that cause people to become dependent upon substances that are damaging to them.

Alcohol is often the substance of choice because it is legal, readily available, cheap and ruthlessly promoted. It is a huge industry which itself is also dependent on ever increasing sales and as a result of this morality and truth play little part in alcohol promotion.

Would you pay for a television that didn’t work or maintain a roadside assistance subscription if they never came out to help when you needed it, or continue to buy fruit from a market stall if it was always past its best?

For most people the answer to all of these questions is no and that is significant. In just the same way that you wouldn’t do any of the above you also wouldn’t use alcohol if it didn’t ‘work’ and a part of the problem surrounding alcohol abuse and the development of dependency is that it does work in the sense that using it resolves or blots out or changes whatever it is that you need to be done at the time.

In this sense alcohol presents as the cure and not the problem and it is the damage caused by the later discovered ‘side effects’ of this particular form of self-medication that highlight the problem of resolving whatever it is that needs to be resolved by using alcohol.

Pros and cons

This pattern isn’t unusual as it also holds true for other types of medication. Iatrogenesis is the medical term for doctor-induced-death. One form this takes is the scenario that you go to your doctor for one problem, you are prescribed medication and the side effects of the medication kill you.

It is estimated that in the USA over 80,000 people are killed by their doctors each year (figures are more difficult to obtain for the UK) and it is reasonable to assume that the ratio would be similar in Britain also.
The point of this is that stuff designed or thought to help you actually ends up doing more damage.

Beyond some point of usage alcohol causes more grief that it gives pleasure, below that level of usage it may be acceptable, non-threatening, and according to some opinions actually beneficial. You might also think that this level of usage might vary according to the individual and you may probably be correct.

So what is it then that causes one person to become dependent upon alcohol and another to be able to take it or leave it? If we get more personal why is it that you have a problem with alcohol and others do not?

Why is it that you can’t stop drinking to excess and others can? Ironically the ‘others’ mentioned are often partners and the stresses created by one partner drinking heavily and the other less so or not at all is a regular cause of stress and damage within relationships.

The answer to the questions posed in the previous paragraph is that there is an ‘it’. There is something that causes you to abuse alcohol whilst others do not.

The surface manifestation may well appear as a craving, or it might be that so richly deserved reward for a job well done, or it might be solace for a bad day at the office, or a comfort, you know, something to help you sleep, to overcome the way you feel and perhaps to make you feel better for that brief transition of time until cold hard reality looms again.

Reasons to drink

Look closely at what has just been said and note the words: craving, deserved, solace, comfort, overcome and feel. They all relate to your emotions or are emotions themselves. Could it be that the compulsion to drink heavily is driven by your emotional needs?

Perhaps we should just contemplate what else it might be:

1. How about chemical? The alcohol has got into your body and the deed is done. Your body needs it and once there it will never go away.

2. Maybe it’s genetic? Is it that you are somehow programmed to be compulsive and alcohol just happened to be there?

So we have three possibilities, emotional, chemical and genetic, there may be more but I can’t think of any. Could it be a combination of all three (or more), a bit of each as it were?

Well at this point it doesn’t really matter because what does matter is that we have established that there is a reason for your compulsive behaviour, your addiction and that is a most significant understanding because it opens the way for a complete cure, a total resolution, however you might want to phrase it this concept introduces the possibility of complete and absolute correction.

If the causes are removed then the addiction will collapse.

There is evidence to show that there may well be some short term physical dependency on the chemical alcohol. The body will, over a period of time adapt to the excessive quantities of alcohol consumed and have to re-balance itself when the quantities reduce or cease.

This ‘correction’ process doesn’t last forever and in fact the chemical part of the addiction is relatively short lived as the body will recover over a few days or perhaps a week or so after drinking has stopped.

Some people do experience withdrawal symptoms during this period and they may be uncomfortable but the fact remains that any chemical dependency is swiftly lost therefore long term alcoholism cannot be chemically driven so the problem is not the alcohol itself.

Similarly modern cellular biologists have proven that such traits cannot possibly be genetic. Genes cannot switch themselves on or off. The overwhelming evidence is that we are who we become because of environmental factors and not genetic ones so the genetic argument of an ‘addictive personality’ for example is false.

Killing these two myths is very important because they represent things you cannot do anything about and consequently act as a fantastic excuse to remain addicted forever.

If you embody these you can relax and wallow in your misfortune comfortable in the knowledge that you cannot do anything about the addiction other than oppose it for the rest of your life.

The salutary news though is that it is neither chemical nor genetic but emotional. Something you can change as soon as you decide to become involved in processes that are directed towards your fundamental beliefs that give rise to these emotional needs.

Fixing Alcoholism

There are only two ways to deal with alcoholism and by deal with I mean to abstain forever or restrict its intake to a level which is acceptable medically, socially and personally:

1. Remove the causes

2. Create bigger reasons not to drink

The first approach is my approach, the approach of www.control-your-drinking.co.uk the ‘alternative approach’ the approach that means you can take it or leave it the approach that transforms your relationship with alcohol so that it is no longer an issue. This approach removes the need to be dependent and requires your involvement and understanding and it is an approach that works.

The second approach is, rather strangely, the ‘conventional one’ it is the approach of the AA, the Priory and other alcohol support organisations. It is the approach that constantly reminds you of the devil, what would happen to you if you relapse, death, bankruptcy and destitution and provides everlasting support to help you fight the addiction day in and day out for the rest of your life.

You might even find that you substitute an alcohol addiction for an AA addiction but one thing is certain you must never allow a drop to pass your lips forevermore because as soon as you do you will plunge once again into the depths of drunken despair.

“One drink is too much and a million not enough”

This is the approach where you fight the compulsion every day of your life, the approach that fails so many and the approach that will guarantee that you will never be free of the curse of the demon drink.

This approach does nothing to remove the causes of your alcoholism and instead sets up powerful reasons that oppose the fundamental causes. It is in reality a power struggle set in motion now and designed to last forever.

It has two fundamental problems and that is why so many people relapse, ‘fall off the wagon’ as it were. It is the reason why so many people experience a cycle of abstinence followed by indulgence, round and round until death intervenes.

Many of those who manage to avoid relapse are plagued with the fear of it yet some truly become free but only because the underlying causes have somehow also been eradicated over the years because of other changes in a life having unseen effects and promoting unexpected benefits.
Problems:

1. If the underlying causes of the addictive behaviour are left unattended they may become stronger as a result of life happenings and grow to such an extent that they overcome the opposing ‘stay sober’ reasons and a relapse occurs.

This growth in strength may be temporary or permanent but as they are being ignored for purposed of sobriety they are uncontrolled and can occur at anytime.

Causes of severe emotional upsurge can be the death of a loved one, disappointment in work, a failed relationship and many other happenings that, quite naturally, are upsetting and difficult for everyone but for the addict they often signal a return to the abuse because it always did ‘work’ and it still might.

2. The powerful anti-drinking reasons may falter or the support might not be available when desperately needed. Similar life happenings can also be responsible.

It may be that illness and death formed a part of this powerful opposition to drinking the effect of which can be completely collapsed were an individual to be diagnosed with a terminal illness that may or may not be alcohol related.

‘I’m going to die anyway so what’s the point?’

The opposition reasons can be weakened in much the same way as the emotional drivers can be strengthened and unless these movements in respective strength stay within their limiting parameters so that the opposition reasons always outweigh the emotional drivers then relapse will occur and that may or may not be recoverable.

Use both

This second method, the opposing reasons method will never intentionally and specifically remove the addiction problem because it never attempts to but that doesn’t mean it has no value. Sometimes it is the only immediate and available way to stop a descent into oblivion.

It may be necessary to fight the compulsion head on with support and perhaps medication and for some this may be an essential part of their rehabilitation. Just be aware that support based abstinence is not the complete solution and whilst it may help you to stop the spiral downwards it isn’t a solution for the long term.

To be rid of an alcohol addiction you do have to collapse the negative emotions that create the physical cravings but there is no reason why you cannot do both and even at the same time if that is appropriate and possible.

For your own sake don’t settle for half measures.

Image: Paul Anderson