Wha…?! Yes, more from Mrs Cole, but we’ve seen the visitor stats and we know you eat her up, so here’s some more:

Despite her skinny little frame attracting criticism and snarky blog posts (soz), the new X Factor judge has been telling anyone who’ll listen that she has her fat and spotty days.

Big, lumpy, common, brassy, once-was-pretty, now fronts Iceland, Kerry Katona has decided her body is so ravaged that she needs a new one.

The woman who can honestly say Brian McFadden was the best she had, is to spend a small fortune on a set of fresh body parts. Despite continually protesting she’s brassic, she’s to splurge £15,000 on the full-body-service including breast reduction and liposuction.

Breast cancer is a terrifying disease at the best of times, so when you’re a woman famour – in part – for the way you look, the way you move and – not to be too flippant – your womanly curves – it must suck even bigger.

So a big thumbs up to brave Christina Applegate, 36, who has burst forth onto the TV circuit and spoken eloquently and honestly about her double mastectomy and upcoming breast reconstruction surgery.

Reality TV nincompoop, Jade Goody, has left the Indian Big Brother house after being told in the diary room that she has cervical cancer.

There are shades of dark irony and there are gory details, but at the end of the day, it’s still cancer, so we’ll be respectful.

The dream had to end some time and it was bound to be in true soap opera style.

It’s been just eight months since Natalie Cassidy – aka fat Sonia from Eastenders – showcased her size eight princess-like figure, but now the clock has chimed and she’s turned back into a pumpkin.

Size zero Cheryl Cole, who is now a judge on X-Factor so can annoy you every Saturday night as well as every time you open the paper, has been moaning about the pressure on women to look a certain way.

And this pressure wouldn’t be at all helped by tiny little pop stars making the rest of us feel unwieldy at anything above size eight.

Katie Price, aka Jordan, has been yakkering to Now Magazine about her skinny body and rapid weight loss. Apparently it’s not, repeat, not apple juice and ice cubes.

She rocked up in LA on Monday looking really bony and the respective onlookers were their usual shocked selves.

The legendary soul singer, Scientologist and South Park favourite was found dead at his Memphis home on Sunday, the cause of death has now been announced as stroke.

No autopsy was carried out but the cause of death was given as a stroke in the paperwork filed by the Hayes’ family doctor, who had been treating Isaac for high blood pressure.

The woman credited/blamed for Celebrity Size Zero fever, stylist Rachel Zoe, has ‘bravely’ allowed Harpers Bazaar to photoshop her from size zero to a size eight.

Gosh, imagine that, size eight. Imagine being so grossly, enormously fat. Wowee. Seeing those pictures was probably like, you know, her Road to Damascus moment or something.

Despite looking like a Dallas wig on an actual-size Barbie doll, Cheryl Cole is unhappy with her figure and is putting herself through a punishing schedule to look good for the new series of The X Factor.

According to Reveal magazine, she’s keeping to a strict diet and having regular sessions with a personal trainer so she looks tip-top.

We don’t mind bitching about pampered, preening A-listers caught with hairy toes or a big, lumpy backside, but when it’s someone we like, we feel bad.

So we’re going to try not to use mean words to describe Lucy “Dawn from The Office” Davis, who has gained weight, like, quite a lot, due to (according to the NotW), marriage problems.