Pregnant man, Thomas Beatie, has had the baby

Matt Damon looking like a bloated, 1970s, German sex pest is the talk of tinseltown, but it’s obviously just for a role. It’s always just for a role: except in the case of Kirstie Alley when it was more to do with a bacon roll. And a doughnut. And a steak. And… you get the idea.

Short of playing a war veteran, piling on the pounds and uglying up is the fast route to Oscar success.

In our day, 45 was the age to slip behind the wheel of a Mondeo, slap some Steeleye Span on the tape deck and wind down the country lane to middle-age.

Now, apparently, it’s the age to slip behind a rodeo pole-dancer, slap some lube on the poop deck and wind down the country lane to a known dogging spot.

An NHS leaflet which urged kids to exercise during TV ad breaks has been shelved after being branded ‘patronising’ and’ unrealistic’ by angry parents.

Red-faced health chiefs were forced to withdraw the booklet, designed to curb growing child obesity levels in the UK, after several complaints from focus groups.

Don’t be surprised if you see some of the male athletes competing in the Beijing Olympics competing with huge bulges in their shorts.

No, Linford Christie is not back competing for Great Britain. But if he did, he may have trouble seeing the finishing line, never mind beating everyone else to it.

Why? Well, you see, athletes are now using Viagra to boost their on-the-field performances as well as fueling their legendary off-the–field antics.

Less than two years since Brazilian model, Ana Carolina Reston, died from her eating disorder and everybody wrung their hands about how terrible the whole modelling industry’s pressure is… the Brazilian media have piled into gorgeous Karolina Kurkova for being fat.

Wish I was ‘fat’ in that case.

If you were the NHS, would you want a round of applause from an ailing prime minister, with support from peers and voters diminishing faster than Sarah Harding’s boobs?

No, you bloody well wouldn’t. It’s the kiss of death.

Okay, so it’s a bit like staring at roadkill and turning it over with your foot. But we can’t help but gawp at how some celebrities have turned the corner from ‘helps designer clothes hang well’ to full-blown ’scrawny as a hobo’ stage.

Here’s our current pick of the worst.